Do Gay People in Films Always Have to be Stereotypes?

Originally published on www.biggaypictureshow.com

In the past I’ve written about a number issues I have when it comes to gay men in films and films that are gay-centric in particular. One of these issues is that they are usually sold on sex, making us all fit into the sexual deviant paradigm that so many people have afforded us, the other issue I’ve written about is why we have to have gay films – after all why can’t they just be films.

This being said, ‘gay films’ are here and for the foreseeable future they are here to stay, because let’s face it, many Hollywood studios are still reluctant to release a mainstream gay-centric film, despite the success of Brokeback mountain almost a decade ago. This then brings up the issue that most of the gay men that we see in films are the flappy, fashion conscience, witty, bitchy character whose retorts and comments are used for comic affect.

These characters can be found in many rom-coms, such as Bridget Jones’ Diary, as well as teen flicks like Mean Girls. We are undoubtedly being put into more films now and being allowed to be openly gay – and all exposure is good exposure in a way, I suppose. Even if the studios are still a little worried to make us the leading star, at least we are there.

However, I can’t get over the fact that many gay-centric films made by LGBT production companies and filmmakers have to use these characters as well. I’ve reviewed and watched a few films recently that heavily feature characters like this. Yes, there are gay people like this, but would it hurt the filmmakers and studios to feature more down-to-earth, non-stereotyped gay characters in a gay movie? After all, we’re bombarded with these stock characters in nearly every romantic comedy that gets churned out.

It looks as though whilst we are getting some representation in mainstream movies, the issue of being stereotyped will always be there. It’s just a shame that gay centric comedy films and rom-coms don’t display enough diversity, to show other gay men and people in Hollywood that we aren’t all like that stock character they know so well. Perhaps if the entertainment made for the gay community were more varied in its depiction of gay people, a little more of that diversity would seep through into the mainstream.

NHS Services for Everyone?

Originally published on www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

Recently I received a survey through the post; apparently out of all the people who live in my area I was selected at random despite the fact my partner also received one, what a coincidence. However this isn't what I'm getting at, the survey was about health and wellbeing for 2013 from the NHS, I know it just sounds like so much fun to fill in doesn't it?

Anyway after flicking through the questions there was the usual; do you smoke? Yes, do you drink? Yes, how much fruit and veg do you consume a week? As you can see it was a pretty standard set of questions. Now this is all well and good and maybe just maybe the survey will help with something, I don't know what it'll help with besides helping to waste some more precious NHS money. But as I got to the end of the survey there was the typical 'about you' section, gender, age, ethnicity you get the picture. I assume this is to help them narrow down which age groups, genders and social groups are suffering the most and which ones are experiencing a happier life, but the one question that was missing was that of sexuality.

Now before you start making assumptions that I'm someone who wants to shout from the rooftops that gay people are being ignored again, I'm not, but you can't help but wonder why this option isn't there. I mean study's have found that LGBT people are more likely to suffer from mental health issues or drink and drug abuse, and by asking this question on a more localised survey by the NHS they could find a way of tackling this, instead of leaving it to certain organisations such as Stonewall and the LGF.

Not every area in the country has somewhere that gay people can turn to for help, and some may send this survey back and be found to be severally depressed or unhappy with life who may be gay, yet this will go unnoticed. I filled out an online health and wellbeing survey a while ago specifically for LGBT people, which was put together by an LGBT organisation, just so I could help out with these statistics that so many organisations such as the NHS are missing.

However it isn't just this NHS wellbeing survey that fails to ask this question. When I was at University I applied for a job at a supermarket so I could make some extra money. Me and my friend (who happens to be a lesbian) went to get the application forms and both said there's no point applying, as we wouldn't get the job. However after noticing the equal opportunities section I made a quick joke that this was our way in, however there was once again no section asking about sexuality. I didn't get the job, because I had no experience working in a supermarket and neither would I want to be given a job simply because I am gay. But it makes me wonder how a company can call themselves an equal opportunities employer and only mention disability, race and ethnicity on an application form as if they're the only reasons why people would be discriminated against when applying for a job.

Now I may have digressed into something completely different there but the principal is still the same, does the NHS not care about the well being of LGBT people? Of course they care, but how will they know the full extent of the health and wellbeing of a social group that does suffer abuse in the areas in which they live (do you feel safe in your area was a question on the survey), and are known for having higher abuse rates if they fail to include a small section in a survey?

Maybe they just forgot, maybe they ran out of space on the paper or maybe because there are LGBT groups out there who've conducted these kinds of studies in the past they felt they didn't need to. The thing is we will never know why it wasn't on there, but the other fact is; if they continue to miss this off surveys in the future then the health and wellbeing of a vast amount of LGBT people will continue to go unknown, which could be a big problem for many.

Review: The Men Next Door

Originally published on www.biggaypictureshow.com

Luring you in with a concept that has only really been seen in soaps and mainly carried out as heterosexual storylines, The Men Next Door makes you feel as though you’re about to see something a little different in terms of gay cinema. However once the film begins it’s rather disappointing to find that it’s just another mound of clichés, stereotypes and unfunny comedy.

After initially reading the plot synopsis I thought I’d be in for a rather funny and not too serious treat – after all seeing a film about a man falling in love with both a father and his son isn’t something you see every day. I was expecting a few laugh out loud moments with a sweet sentiment underneath. However, within the first 15 minutes of the film I saw two cocks and two or three sex scenes, once again reinforcing the fact that the majority of gay cinema is sold on sex.

Aside from this much of the ‘comedy’ within the film was not funny, tried a little too hard and on the whole was a little bit predictable. Also the sweet sentiment that ran throughout the film failed to make you go “awww”, instead it made you want to reach for the nearest sick bucket.

That said there are a few funny moments that did make me laugh, such as the awkward moment when the truth about the father and son comes is revealed. There’s also an entertaining situation in a getaway cabin later on the in film, which gets ruined by afamily therapy session that ensues. I did enjoy the way in which the more amusing parts of the film were told during conversations between Doug (Eric Dean) and his brother, and in all fairness you do wonder whether he will choose the father or son in the end. But as the film nears its conclusion, it gets extremely mundane and yawn inducing.

The way the film is shot is extremely low budget and it shows, which makes you feel as though you’re watching something a film student made on their lunch break. Adding to the pain I felt watching this is that the majority of the acting is wooden, beside Benjamin Lutz, who plays the son of the story, Colton, but even he annoys you after a while.

The character of Evelyn (Heidi Rhodes) does amuse at times, but she too becomes a little annoying as you realise she’s just another stereotype of how some gay people see their straight friends who have settled down with children.

Overall Verdict: This film could have done so much with the premise, but instead it’s badly written, badly shot and badly acted. Where it could have invested in good comedy and a more heartfelt sentiment, the makers settled for lacklustre comedy, stereotypes and a couple of helpings of sex in order to make people watch it.

The Problem With Some Gay Films – Are they sold too much just on sex?

Originally posted on www.biggaypictureshow.com

I’ve previously written a number of articles about gay men in films and on television, such as why it’s important that gay people are featured in the medium of both film and TV and why it is important that we have films that centre on gay people. I do believe that this is important, but as a gay man I also have a number of issues with many LGBT films.

The problem I have with many gay movies is they look just like soft-core pornography. I say this because after moseying around a branch of HMV, I came across a gay orientated film, however the synopsis and even the name of the movie have failed to stick in my mind. This is due to the fact that after looking on the back of the DVD I was greeted by a number of images of half naked men, some of which clearly depicted a sex scene, and this wasn’t an isolated incident to this one particular film.

I’ve watched and seen advertisements for a number of gay specific films that heavily feature naked men, guys wandering around in speedos or underwear, or full-on sex scenes. Now I’m not a prude or have any issue with seeing half naked men, but it does make me wonder, what happened to a good storyline? Now it’s possible these films do have okay plots, but the marketing suggests the only thing the viewer cares about is the beefcake (and quite a lot of the gay-themed movies themselves seem to think the same).

I say this because there aren’t that many films that feature primarily straight characters that are mainly sold on semi-nakedness and people having sex for no apparent reason, but it often feels that the majority of gay films seem to think titillating the viewer is necessary to get them to watch. Of course there are those films that are on late at night on some of the lesser-known movie channels that are solely about straight sex, but the less said about those the better.

Many gay films are like this, which is perhaps one of the reasons LGBT-themed films only have a very limited audience that doesn’t even encompass all gay people. They just sit on a DVD shelf in a shop and gather dust, only to suffer the fate of the bargain bin. It’s probably one of the reasons why a movie like Brokeback Mountain is such as success as – aside from having big name stars in it – it has a good plot and the sex scenes are used to push the story along.

I have a fear that until some makers of gay specific films realise that not all gay men need to see semi-naked actors parade around in tiny briefs, and would instead much prefer to see a well thought out plot and character development, that many gay films will continue to face the fate of the discount shelf. And equally, if gay movies continue to be sold purely on the sex, it undermines a lot of the good work done by filmmakers who do care about making a good film, but who then see that work ignored in favour of marketing it purely on the semi-nude men – which ensures many who would enjoy it won’t watch it, and those who do are disappointed it’s not the sex-fest the DVD cover promised.

After all, if you want to see naked men acting badly and running around in badly scripted films then, surely you can just watch porn; the sex scenes will probably be better too.

Unsafe dating

Originally posted on http://sexandtherecession.co.uk

Since the recession hit we’ve all had to curb our spending and something that seems to have become a thing of the past is dating, most probably due to the amount of money it costs to actually attend said dates. Due to this as I mentioned in my last blog, hook ups on mobile phone apps seem to have become increasingly popular.

But with the internet and mobile phone apps increasing in popularity due to their accessibility, it leaves us with the question; has the recession and in turn it’s savior, the internet, made dating unsafe?

It appears that dating companies have latched on to the fact that people can’t afford to go out as much these days, which narrows their chances of finding dates and then sex. So now we are constantly bombarded on a daily basis by advertisements offering us free subscriptions and free trials in order for us to sign up to the latest internet dating fads such as Match.com and plentyoffish.

These websites fill the gap and offer us dating at our fingertips, which could lead to a relationship and plenty of sex, or even just a one-night stand. But in this climate, with sex lives feeling the pinch, who’s complaining?

Well it appears that many people are complaining due to spate of news features over the last few years on the perils of internet dating, which have seen people killed in the worst case scenario.

But is this simply the case now, that because of the recession and our apparent lack in contact with other people due to it, are we becoming more careless?

Just think about it we don’t know these people we’ve met, our friends most likely haven’t so they can’t warn us about them and do they really look like their picture? We believe these people because we have no other choice as without these portals to dating and sex we probably wouldn’t get any due to the constraints on our wallets at the moment.

It appears that in the gay world online dating is a place to find dates or sex and it can be a very dangerous place, especially with some of the people you come across on them.

In my next piece I will be taking a closer look at Gaydar, the popular online dating website for gay men, to see just what this website entails and just how safe it is.

Are we grinding differently?

Originally posted on www.sexandtherecession.co.uk

Since the recession hit back in late 2008 everyone in the country has been tightening those purse strings and holding on to their money tighter than ever.

This however hasn’t come without its setbacks. With people now limiting their expenditure on luxuries such as new clothes, shoes and dining out they have almost become a thing of the past for many people, even everyone’s Saturday nights out have become a victim of the recession and in turn so have their sex lives.

With casual sex no longer being a taboo, in facts it’s far from it with most friendship groups discussing it in the hope they sound oh so Sex and the City, a Saturday night out is where thousands of people around the country get their rocks off with the nearest person on the dance floor. However with these nights out being cut back on considerably, many people who once enjoyed a carefree casual sex life have seen it dwindle dramatically.

Gay men in particular have often been considered as having extremely care free and casual sex lives and in the wake of the recession, with the fear of cut backs on nights out arising, a new creation for the smartphone generation emerged … Grindr.

Grindr is a geosocial-networking app that gay and bisexual men can use to find other gay and bisexual men in a close proximity, in other words they can use it to find the closest quickie. That’s right,Grindr has helped cut out the middle man, in this case the middle man being the club and the alcohol, and has allowed gay men the world over to access sex at the click of a button.

So Grindr has seemingly emerged to save the sex lives of gay men everywhere, after all there are now over two million people using it in 192 across the globe. So even though the recession has hit and people are suffering and cutting back on luxuries, thanks to a free app for most smartphones, the iPod and iPad gay men can still enjoy the free pleasure that is sex.

Many people I know have used this app and continue to use it everyday and their reasons for doing it? It’s quick, easy and best of all free, showing us that the recession has not only hit our bank balances and sex lives, it has also changed the way we approach sex and dating.

There isn’t a version for straight people yet, but with the popularity of Grindr and the way it’s expanding around the world, along with the never ending recession and cut backs and not forgetting our newly developed approaches to dating, it won't be long before everyone is grinding in a completely different way.

What's your "magic" number?

I recently saw a story about knowing the number of sexual partners your boyfriend or girlfriend had before you, and this got me thinking about do you really want to know?

Whether the number is one, ten or a thousand we all have a “magic” number at the end of the day so why do we need to know what our partner’s number is? I can understand that it is probably a common thought amongst people about what it is as everyone has some sort of curiosity and if you are like me then you’re just pretty nosey and want to know everything about everyone.

But just think about it, do you really want to know everything about your partner? After all everyone has a past and have certain things they don’t want anyone to know. So if you are going to ask just think about whether you really want to know the answer, because once they tell you there’s no going back, and you may not like what you hear, and do you really want to put the pressure of dealing with that into a relationship? I know it’s not the end of the world but couples have broken up over knowing things like this. I don’t know anyone personally who this has happened to but I read it in an article so therefore it must be true, right?

If you do ask the question and they tell you then just remember, that is all in the past and I’m pretty sure the majority of them would have been one night stands, (because if they have slept with a thousand people I pretty much doubt they were all serious relationships) and as we all know one night stands are about sex and sex only, most people have had them and you’ll know they’re just meaningless no strings fun.

The most important thing to remember is, no matter what the number is they’re with you now and no one else so it shouldn’t matter at all how many people they’ve slept with.

But, what I did hear once was that if you don’t want you partner to know your “magic” number then just remember, you become a born again virgin when you enter a new relationship. So technically there’s not been anyone else.