Coming out, we all know what it means and we are all quite aware of what it involves, and for many many gay people in the UK and around the world it can be seen as the best and often considered one of the most terrifying things you could do. Now we have all heard the negative and not so nice stories of people coming out, but don’t let this get you down or allow it to frighten you as the place we live today is much different to what it used to be and thousands of young gay people are coming out and are being embraced for who they are. Its 2011 you aren’t going to get chased down the streets with pitchforks.
I spoke to 27-year-old Chris Owen from Warrington, to share his experience of coming out. He told me that he knew that he was gay from a very young age, and came out in his mid-teens to a very positive reaction from friends and family. Here’s what happened:
When did you realise you were gay?
I was quite young really; I think I was about 11 or 12, that’s when I first realised that I started having a thing for boys.
When did you come out?
Well I came out to my friends when I was about 13 or 14, and then I didn’t come out to my parents until a while after that, I think I would have been about 16.
How did your friends react to you coming out?
My friends all knew, they knew all along, I never really kept that much secret from them, don’t get me wrong I did lose some friends but the ones that stuck with me are the ones that I’m still friends with today.
How did you feel about coming out to your parents?
Nervous, the biggest thing I was worried about doing was coming out to my parents, everyone else are just a blip they’re just there and the next thing they’re gone, my parents are there all my life.
How did you think they would react?
Well I thought my mum would have been all right with it and my dad would have gone mad, but they both accepted it I suppose quite quickly.
How did you feel about the reaction to it?
It was a positive one, my mum thought it was a phase and she thought for years that I was just going to grow out of it but then my dad was just like the strong silent type, and my mum was just a silent type, everything just carried on as normal.
Do you feel it helped you be yourself more around your family?
Yeah definitely, I’m definitely more myself because I don’t have anything to hide.
Are you glad you did it?
Yeah I am, if they don’t like me for what I am then they can jog on for all I care.
After listening to Chris' story of how he was accepted by his family and embraced for who he was, I was lucky enough to talk to his mother Sharon to discuss her sons homosexuality and how she felt when he came out, after all the best friend a gay man can have is apparently his mother. Here’s what she told me:
Did you ever think he was gay before he told you?
Yes Chris was always very in touch with his emotions and very caring and his mannerisms were always gentile.
How did you feel when he came out, what was your reaction?
Shocked but not really surprised, shocked because he was only 16 when he told me and I tried to explain that it may only be a phase and to give himself time, but he knew his own mind and I had to respect that.
Did you ever feel like you had anything to do with him being gay, and if so has this changed over time?
No not really, but buying him My Little Ponies when he asked for them did make me think. My thoughts are still the same Chris has the confidence to be his own person and I respect that he’s still my son no matter what.
Did you worry for his safety at all?
Oh yes, especially when he was working in Manchester, I was always worried that he was not streetwise and he would be taken advantage of, and people can be very hypocritical and homophobic and I did not want him to be attacked for his choices in life.
What would you say to other parents whose children have come out who may feel shocked about the situation?
I would say have a cup of tea, take a deep breath and remember that you bring your kids up the best you can and teach them to make choices for themselves and no matter what happens they are always going to be your son or daughter and you will always love them, tolerance and understanding and acceptance is what’s required.
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